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almost there… February 28, 2010

Posted by putomaia in Jitters, School is Cool.
6 comments

No, I’m not almost there. I’m like, barely started.

I remember having developed a special, intimate relationship with the Rabagos’ toilet. Now I’m feeling the same again: this time, toward the computer. I have been sitting on this very seat looking at this very screen for what, 36 hours? I only left this seat to sleep, take a bath and other bathroom stuff, and sometimes eat.

Fuck education. Fuck college. Fuck thesis.

Just kidding. Of course I don’t feel any hatred right now. I just want to slap myself fifty times for not doing anything after my thesis defense on February 3. That’s sooo long ago. I could have been done right now.

I could have been done an entire week ago had I not devoted my full time to the election campaign. I hate you electoral process. I haaaaate you.

Anyway, I’m blogging to take my mind off that loooong Word document entitled “Revised4”, otherwise known as my thesis. Thank you so much for taking time to read my senseless post.

PS: He performed the other night, on TATAK UPMin. I have a video of their band. I’m not gonna upload it on Facebook to save my reputation.

Iiiiiiieeeee. Pogi kaayo sya. *blush* Sorry na lang sa dili makarelate.

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fickle February 25, 2010

Posted by putomaia in Jitters, Private Me, Random Rambling.
8 comments

Reg sent me this text message ten days ago:

“Waiting is the most important thing that you can do for love, but it proved me one thing. As it goes it can also change your mind.”

I think the same happened to me. I am aware that I wrote sometime ago that I may never have feelings for a person other than him. I have always thought so. Until we started to talk again.

Some people may say that I’m feeling the way I feel right now because my friends didn’t like him. Believe me, that’s not the case. I’m not exactly famous for listening to my friends’ advice.

I didn’t know what happened. Before, I see him in school and think that I have always been waiting for him, that I can never talk to him again, that someday we will meet in another place, in another time, all that is perfect.

But now that I can talk to him almost everyday? I realized that what I felt was just longing. Β Even if it’s contrary to what other people may feel, I honestly like his personality. It’s as if I can see more than what other people can see. (Okay, time to puke) No seriously, it’s like I’ve been wanting to just be friends again. Nothing more than that.

And now I realize that my feelings can be turned on and off and on again and off again in lightning speed.

PS: Show’s over, time to make my thesis. 😦

naman! February 10, 2010

Posted by putomaia in Jitters, Random Rambling.
4 comments

Bakit kung kailan okay na ako saka ka bumabalik?

That’s all folks πŸ™‚

Protected: under discretion January 23, 2010

Posted by putomaia in Jitters, Private Me.
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circus January 13, 2010

Posted by putomaia in Angst is so 90s, Jitters, Random Rambling.
2 comments

I am getting too attached to you.

For many reasons I know I shouldn’t be.

What is the opposite of attach?

Detach?

Yes that’s it.

I find it hard to do.

Oh freaky crap.

I don’t know how not to get too attached.

Afraid that I might already be.

And you are not making it easy.

I need help.

Badly.

* I would like to make a special shoutout to George. Remember the talk we had a loooong time ago about attachment issues? I need to talk to you about it again. There’s something we have to talk about anyway, right? Now that you can take a break from your thesis, I’ll corner you.

Almost goodbye, 2009 December 25, 2009

Posted by putomaia in Jitters, Random Rambling, Sorority Girl, Uber Friends.
6 comments

Merry Christmas y’all!

This has been a really great Christmas vacation. Partypeopleyeah mode on!

It’s six days before 2009 officially says goodbye so I thought of making a list of the highlights of my year. Warning: This is another loooong post.

JANUARY 2009 – Radio Prod at its finest. I was Kris Aquino in radio- life. Err.. Boring January

FEBRUARY 2009 –Β  It’s RareJob time! I remember not being able to go out on Valentine’s Day because that’s my interview schedule. A few days after that, my schedule was opened and alas, so many Japaneses! πŸ˜€

MARCH 2009 – I revived my blog in vain, after writing just one post. Francis M died on March 6. March 7, the day after, was the Eraserheads Final Set. I almost died while watching the videos online. Of course I could not go. I had no moolah and it’s the last month of second sem. Meaning, soo many things to do. Then again, on the night before our Crisis Comm panel, Pupil held a concert in Damosa. Who were we not to go? We went there, bathed in the rain, made total fun of ourselves, worshipped Ely Buendia (in my case) and sung like mad people!

me and nepc. me, holding the ticket to happiness hahaha

APRIL 2009 – Summer! April 1 officially started my summer vacation. Exams ended on the last week of March but I chose to stay in Mintal for a couple of nights to have a gore-movie-marathon with the uber friends. Totally monotonous summer: Rarejob, Skype conference chat with friends, Facebook, yogurt, Korean series…

MAY 2009 – I tried to “re-revive” my blog in Blogspot. It was total blogorhea! I wrote about anything, everything, nothing, as in! Shortly, my friends Teena and George followed. We (I?) became serious bloggers πŸ˜€

JUNE 2009 – My birth month! Uber friends gathered in the far-flung mountains of Cabantian to celebrate my birthday. And then it was time to go back to school. We were officially seniors πŸ™‚ AH5 became one of my most favorite subjects in my college life. And of course, he came back Uh, noooo. And Michael Jackson died 😦

happy birthday!

JULY 2009 – I began worrying about my thesis. I repeat, worrying. Freshmen night was held again in UP for the first time in two years. Tama ba? I remember my brods and sisses (neophytes pa?) and I eating dinner at Mami’s (a beerhouse in Mintal) around 2am. Rarejob Lunch Gathering, too! We ate a lot, hehe. And I sort of got over someone. Imma big liar.

at trellis n vines, with euki and reg

AUGUST 2009 – My mother created an FB account, to my horror. Some nosy bitches began threatening the confraternity, but we made it through, like duh. And I cut my hair! Really short, after so many years of having a long hair. I changed my thesis topic which confirmed my kewl factor haha. Joined KSUP in UPMin and got to go to a community in Tamayong. And yes, I proved to everyone I was as clumsy as heck.

at Sitio Kahusayan. spot me

SEPTEMBER 2009 – I began liking a loser. Regrets, regrets! Six people were added to the confraternity (amid all the issues and stuff). The aforementioned loser acted like a loser and made me cry. I get disgusted just thinking about it! Haha. I went back to smoking. We had a kewl rally against GMA.

OCTOBER 2009 – Another person was added to the confraternity, hehe. The semester was almost ending and so I was not able to sleep for weeks. Explains my eyebags. We also had our batchbook launching. I had my thesis defense and thesis plenary in one month. It almost killed me. Good thing I was able to survive. The semester ended well (if not for the many echuseras around me). I had an uno in AH5 and I even managed to get on the Dean’s List. Aww.Part two of October involves the sem break. Who would not forget Reg’s birthday in Puan? My gawd, I won’t! Haha

batchbook launching with George and Teena

NOVEMBER 2009 – Second semester. I wasn’t that crazy about my subjects. I like Film Prod though. And yeah, I reaffirmed my feelings toward him. Oh God, why am I such a cheesy person? I need salvation. Anywaaay, yeah. This month was also the birth of the superhero pose, when George, Reg and I were drinking Tanduay on a cold afternoon, right before my meeting with the CSM- SC candidates. Good job, Maan. Hahaha. The confraternity also had the sem starter. Super fun!

i love pi!

DECEMBER 2009 – Mintal perya! Sadly, I was only able to go there twice. First, with Alvin, Bobbie and Tomas after UP Night, and second, with Tomas, Perper, Krista, Nassefh, Drobert and Doods after the inter-org meeting. December was party-ful and Pi-ful. We became fond of walking around Mintal at midnight. Two people were added again to the confraternity and we drank after. Of course, who would forget the night before my two exams session? We jammed the Deviance Night away (which I attended tipsy). The night after Kasadya was also real fun. We went to Dover Lanes for bowling, and went to K1 for singing and disco-ing, haha. Christmas vacation was Tine-ful. My money totally went down the drain because we always ate out in restaurants and made tambay in coffee shops. For our Film Production script. Which was a major as if. But I’m not complaining!

At K1, Torres. I love this pic haha

Happy holidays!

LSS December 6, 2009

Posted by putomaia in Jitters.
4 comments

Wala lang.

serbis December 1, 2009

Posted by putomaia in Jitters, Random Rambling.
1 comment so far

je t’aime

Maghahanap pa ako ng kopya ko ng Serbis.

‘Di ko masyadong naaninag ang katawan ni Coco Martin kanina.

Oh well papel, nagbibisi- bisihan kasi.

Babawi ako bukas Coco Martin!

😳

on a lighter note November 26, 2009

Posted by putomaia in Jitters, Random Rambling.
3 comments

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee

Please don’t mind me if I write this here. I just can’t say it in person.

Isa pa, all together now

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee

Tama na, OA na

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee

of bad boys and realizations November 14, 2009

Posted by putomaia in Jitters, Private Me, Uber Friends.
20 comments

First of all, forgive my last post. I was just in a drunken state of mind, albeit without the alcohol. I was just confused. Anyway, it’s not as if my mind already cleared. Perhaps I will always be in this perpetual state of confusion.

I did a lot of thinking yesterday, after I watched Paranormal Activity (no comment!) with George, Teena, JM, Reg, Alvin and Thomas. We finished the movie at around 2 am and George, Reg, JM and I braved Mintal for some shatting. I served gunner for them while they doused their livers with SMB and perfumed their lungs with Marlboro.

Segue: I am proud to say that during that night, I only ate a cheeseburger from Minute Burger (yours truly) and a can of Pepsi. πŸ™‚

Okay, so I did a lot of thinking. I realized that the feelings I have for the boyΒ  in the last post were just anger and hurt. Nothing else, thank God. I also realized that I will always have feelings for the guy I have liked almost ever since I entered college. If you are a close friend, you’d have no problem guessing who this one is.

The other day, when George, Teena and I cut classes (oops, sorry sir!), George casually mentioned that for her, the feeling of being in love will always feel good, even if it hurts, even if it’s unrequited. I realized that it’s true, even in my case.

With a sudden jolt (haha char ba?), I realized that I can be perfectly content on viewing him as the most ideal person for me. He has this bad boy aura but he isn’t really. He doesn’t smoke, almost never drinks (though I won’t have any problem with these things). He’s cocky, he’s arrogant, he’s talented and he knows it. But I like it anyway.

We haven’t talked for two years maybe, and I won’t even be surprised if he doesn’t remember my name anymore. But I’m content with just remembering the things he did for me before. For me, it’s perfectly fine.

I’m still surprised though that I can maintain these feelings for him. I don’t know how one person can feel something this intense toward a person whom she doesn’t even know that much. But I guess this makes my own story, different from my friends’, different from anybody else’s.

Now I am preparing myself to be tormented by my uber friends. Expect me to play denial queen if you tease me, as always, but I already told the truth in this post.